I’m trying to break down the walls of my denial, a denial which has caused so much unhappiness and addictive behaviour in my life.

This seven headed beast was in ‘embryo’ form in the preceding picture, but here, in this fourth piece in my Serial Cycle series, it is fully developed.

Apocalyptic Beast (2009)

(78cm x 56cm; felt tips, pilot pens, gold & silver pens plus, oil pastels and Indian inks on watercolour paper. 2009)

The toy Corgi and Dinky cars are what I used to buy with money I was given for my silence and complicity. I developed a smokescreen to cover up where I got the money from since my Mum could barely make ends meet and there wasn’t any extra for occasional toys.

The cars became ‘totemic’ and I kept them all in their boxes in a larger box I made and decorated myself. This had car badges on it (stolen from cars) and some my brother brought home from the garage he worked in.

This is the third piece in my Serial Cycle series.

Beyond Appearances (2009)

(78cm x 56cm; felt tips, pilot pens, gold & silver pens plus, oil pastels and Indian inks on watercolour paper. 2009)

I wanted the stars & stripes in the picture, and then I thought of the Moon landing and how they were in those pictures. 2009 is an anniversary for that time. The two events just came together. I did some research about the American Civil Rights Movement and some of the main heroes are written into the picture.

There is a figure out of the old Jason & The Argonauts film. Where the colossal god comes to life because Hercules has taken something from his tomb. I’ve always been completely fascinated by this bit of genius from Ray Harryhausen – and it seems to fit in with something huge moving in to life which is what this picture is about.

Obamma (2009)

(78cm x 56cm. Felt tips and pilot pens on watercolour paper. Early 2009)

I started this picture just before I traveled up to Glasgow.  It was something fun to do on the train journey both ways.

Silver Horses Ran Down Moonbeams (2009)

(22cm x 29cm; felt tips, pilot pens, silver pens. May 2009)

Coming Out (2009)

(78cm x 56cm; felt tips, pilot pens, gold & silver pens plus, oil pastels and Indian inks on watercolour paper. 2009)

The title of this piece come from the  Gothic masterpiece ‘Melmoth The Wanderer’ by Charles Maturin.  It is a novel about the darkness’s of the human soul.

The moth is a ‘Death’s Head’ moth.  I was inspired by the profound symbolism in the film ‘Silence of The Lambs’ to depict this particular moth.  The butterfly/moth symbolically can mean transformation, as well as the soul.  I chose a moth rather than a butterfly as a moth is generally a creature of the night.  Most domestic sexual abuse happens at night.

This is quite obviously a self portrait and I would hazard a guess that anyone who has suffered abuse as a child or indeed at any age will be able to ‘read’ and identify with this image easily.

The Dali/barber’s pole crutches supporting the cage are what they appear – crutches/support and also healing.  Barber’s were also akin to paramedics or first aiders in the past, amateur healers due to the scarcity of doctors – red for blood, white for the bandages.

Malmoth the Wonderer (2009)

(78cm x 56cm; felt tips, pilot pens, gold & silver pens plus, oil pastels and Indian inks on watercolour paper. 2009)

When I was up at my Mum’s recently I decided to revisit the objects from this original painting, although I forgot all about the plum ornament.

After I created my reinterpretation in felt tips I felt that it wasn’t enough. I had my MP3 player with me and I listened to ‘Lucy In The Skies’ about 19 times one night in bed.  It inspired me to incorporate some of the lyrics into my ‘Still Life’.

The new piece is a homage to my past, and to one of the greatest bit of Art ever created. See how many of the lyrics you can spot!

Still Life with Plasticine Porter (2009)

(406mm x 305mm; felt tips on watercolour paper. May – June 2009)